(another) weird dream

I don't know how it started, but here, to the best of my recollection, is the order of events in my befuddled mind:

A flock of turkeys was migrating somewhere, and it was late at night, and we could hear them gobbling to each other. I imitated my dad's turkey gobble, which he left on my voicemail Thanksgiving Day, which, in my dream, turned out to be a mating call, and pretty soon, I had a bunch of turkeys flying toward me.

I was standing on the porch of a huge house (which turned out later to be a church?), and I was suddenly with two Indian guys (dots, not feathers), and we had to make a run for it to get into the building before the turkeys got to us. I remember vividly fearing that these turkeys would be as violent and anti-human as my Aunt Dottie's pet turkey, Japetto, had been.

So, we're finally in the house, and now it becomes a church, and we're wandering around the basement hallways (I've been in this building in previous dreams ... that drives me crazy), and the guys are trying to swat at something on the ceiling -- whether it was the lights or whatever, I have no idea.

And then we're in a room full of people -- like a youth group, but a lot of them are older -- like my age -- and we're just sitting there, and suddenly, the room becomes the cabin of a jumbo jetliner, and I'm sitting next to Gary Hall (Jr.) in a Speedo, and he looks at my legs and says something like "do all women just go around like that where you come from?" ... and I realize that I'm wearing shorts and I haven't shaved my legs in, like, months ... but for crying out loug, he's just sitting there in his Speedo! So I try to apologize for my hairy legs (I ran out of time to shave, blah, blah, blah), and he says that's okay, he kind of likes the bohemian look, and just when I think he might be flirting with me, he leans over ... and starts flirting shamelessly with the girl on the other side of me.

Men.

Turns out we were flying to a ski trip, and our desination was somehow that same huge house I'd been at earlier, when the flock of turkeys tried to swarm. And now I've got a car, and I go to get my snowpants on, only to realize that they're capri-length snowpants, and I'm going to definitely have to shave my legs (dont' ask). But then I find out that there's a curling competition going on, so I go and get a huge disc of ice (again ... don't ask) and try to find a broom so I can try curling instead of skiing. The two Indian guys were back, and it seems that throughout the whole dream, we were trying to run away or hide from something; I remember being afraid of something or someone the whole time. Maybe it was a continued fear of the turkeys.

Just before I woke up, I remember a guy confronting a girl who had a baby with her or by her or something, and the guy was saying something like "he looks like me -- he looks just like me. You told me I didn't have any kids ..." ... and then I woke up.

There was something else going on during the earlier part of the dream -- something big -- but for the life of me, I can't put my finger on it. It seemed big and important, and I hoped that by typing out the rest of it, I could remember it ... no dice. Sheesh.

The only things I can get from this dream are:

a) I should probably shave my legs (or I'm paranoid about a guy seeing me on one of the few days that I haven't shaved my legs), and

b) I'll do anything to keep from strapping two waxed bits of wood to my feet and SHWOOSH-ing down a snow-covered hillside ... including curling.