PNY = POS

One of my pen drives has quit working -- the big one. The expensive one. Somehow, it's just turned on its own write-protection. It didn't ask my permission, nor would I have granted it. It's my bright-orange, fancy-shmancy Attache Otpima Pro 2.0G PNY (POS!).

And I can't do a bloody thing with it now.

So I began a frustrating (and fruitless) search of the Internet and its many geeky inhabitants to see whether any of them might be able to help me.

It has turned out to be worse than Margaret's search for God and/or religion in Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. For all anyone can tell me, I may as well come up with a catchy incantation to mutter over this damned little piece of plastic. Throw some salt over my shoulder. Dance naked under a full moon while throwing it at the trunk of an ancient oak tree that houses a Great Horned Owl. Anyone have toadstools or eyes of newt that they can spare?

By the typing of my thumbs ... some useless advice this way comes. I asked for it. Literally.

Useless piece of advice #1 -- "Flip the switch on the side. Duh."
Snarky retort #1 -- There is no switch, genius, unless it's buried in that labrynthian circuit board locked inside a casing of plastic, and even I'm not dumb enough to crack that and have a go at a potentially nonexistent "switch."

Useless piece of advice #2 -- "Format the drive. Duh."
Snarky retort #2 -- I can't format the drive. Because it's write-protected. I can't save anything new to the drive. Because it's write-protected. I can't delete anything off the drive. Because it's write protected. I probably shouldn't even be allowed to put the thing in my purse. Because it's write-protected.

Useless piece of advice #3 -- "Go to 'Start,' then 'Run' and type 'regedit.' Click the plus signs next to My Computer, HKEY LOCAL MACHINE ..... (it goes on and on from there) ... StorageDevice Policies ... reset the value to 0 ...
Snarky retort #3 -- I don't have "StorageDevicePolicies" burried anywhere in my registry edit thingy. Yeah, I said "thingy." You're the geek, not me, and you're still not solving my problem, so for as useful as you are, you might as well start saying "thingy," too.

Useless piece of advice #4 -- "Uncheck the 'read-only' box in the security settings. Duh."
Snarky retort #4 -- You jerk. I can't access the security settings, and there is no "read-only" box to be checked or unchecked.

Useless piece of advice #5 -- "Use this other (useless) method to format the drive."
Snarky retort #5 -- See snarky retort #2.

So here I sit, bitterly opining to you, my faithful and few readers, because even if you can't sympathize with me over the flash drive thingy not working anymore, you may at least get a chuckle out of my frustration. When all else fails, you still have to be able to laugh at your failure. and it's best to have someone to laugh with, if you're going to do that.