Yeesh.

I've never felt so uninspired to write. Maybe "never" is an exaggeration, but ... I can't remember a time when I felt this uninspired. Maybe this is a depression. Yikes.

Shear Fear

I have a fear of going to get my hair trimmed.

Not because I'm afraid I won't like the cut.

I'm afraid of hairstylists. Actually, I'm more annoyed by them, but it's an expensive annoyance. We'll just call it fear.

So here's a tip for all you hairstylists (and wannabes):

When I say I want a shampoo and a cut (or a trim) ... that's all I want.

I don't want a deep-conditioning treatment. I don't want to color my hair. Ditto for perming it or straightening it. Don't try to sell me products. I like the products I use. I wouldn't use them if I didn't like them.

And for God's sake: Don't, as a last resort, insult my color, texture, product use, etc., in a desperate last-ditch effort to sell me these things. All you're doing is talking yourself out of a tip and a future customer.

A shampoo and a cut. That's it. Do that — and only that — and I may trust you when I do need something more.

And that's why it's been about three months since I sat in the twirly seat at a salon. I get easily tired of my self esteem and my checking account taking a hit at the same time.

How to lose a date in 10 minutes (or less)

My least-favorite question — especially on a first date, but at any point, really — is some variation of "You're so (pretty, smart, successful, witty, funny, yada, yada, yada); how come you're still single?" question.

Because here's what you're really asking, fellas: "What the hell is wrong with you? What's your defect? Should I cut and run while my only losses will be a nonfat latte and the tip?"

I get this question usually while we're still standing in line to order ... and while I'm not about to spill my beans before the barista has ground her beans, you've just shared — with glaring obviousness — what your defect is.

Thanks for the coffee. Don't call.

Before I go, though: I'm still single because I want to be. Nobody I've met so far has been worth giving up that freedom.