Ode to Wyoming and its fine citizens

(A disclaimer: I didn't write a single word of the original list — just the parentheticals. But I laughed at every word of it, and I wanted to share it. You're welcome. You can thank my mom for sending it on.)

A winter statistic

Ninety-eight percent of Americans scream before going in the ditch on a slippery road. The other 2 percent are from Wyoming, and they say: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

You're from WYOMING if ...

You'll eat ice cream in the winter.

When the weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt (Laramie-tough side note: a 40-degree day is sufficient for me).

It snows 5 inches, and you don't expect school to be canceled.

You'll wear flip-flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.

You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you make fun of them.

'Humid' is over 25 percent.

Your sense of direction is "toward the mountains" and "away from the mountains."

You say "the interstate," and everybody knows which one.

You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.

You buy your flowers to set out on Mother's day, but you try to hold off planting them until just before Father's day.

You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat.

You know what the Continental Divide is (and you've driven repeatedly over it).

You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal.

You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.

You always know the elevation of where you are.

You wake up to a beautiful, 80-degree day, and you wonder whether it's going to snow tomorrow.

You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at MILE HIGH

Every movie theater has military and student discounts.

Everybody wears jeans to church.

You know what a "trust fund hippy" is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder, Colo.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you.

Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the ..... out of the Raiders.

When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state, too, you just laugh.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.