Awww ... that's embarassing!

My Phone Call du Jour:

Rrrrrrrinnnng

Me: Newsroom, this is Sarah.

Kid: Hi -- I have a question.

Me: Okay

Kid: So, like, if I, like, was convicted, like, of a crime, does that, like, show up in the paper?

Me: It depends on what you were convicted of and how much your fines were.

Kid: Like ... possessing, like, a drug, like, marijuana or, like, cocaine?

Me: Yeah, that's probably in there.

Kid: Like, where in the paper would it be?

Me: On page 3, under the record.

Kid: Awwww ... that's really embarassing!

Me: Well -- don't do the crime.

Kid: (laughs) Yeah, I guess. Oh, man ... like, all my friends, like, read the paper.

Me: Well, I don't know what to tell you.

Kid: Alright ... well, thanks.

Me: Yup.

******

This is common, and this kid was at least nice about it. We get people all the time who call us, threatening us that their DUI (drug possession, battery of a household member, child porn possession, etc.) "better not be in the paper," yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

Guess what, genius? Keep your drunk ass from attempting to mow over other people and their cars, and you won't have to worry about being in the paper. Get into a rehab program. Don't beat the crap out of your wife. Get help for your sick addiction.