'Tis the Season Musing

It's officially the holiday season, and that has me reminiscing about holidays past. When our family does holidays, we do them up right. Take these memories for example:

-- There was the year that Mom went out to go shopping, and when she came home, the house was filled with inky black smoke. Turns out, the kerosene heater had fallen over/been knocked over and had filled the house with smoke, coating everything (EVERYTHING!) in an oily black residue. Carpets had to be shampooed, walls and ceilings scrubbed, clothes sent out to be cleaned, everything that had been on shelves, in cupboards, etc. had to be wiped down ... and our family had to stay in a hotel for a couple of days ...

-- There was the Christmas when we stayed with some friends in McKinney, Texas. They had left Christmas Eve to spend the holiday with some family, leaving us in charge of their house ... and the pipes froze. Merry Christmas!

-- There was the Christmas that Matt hid all the presents he'd bought in a large suitcase in the garage. When Christmas Eve came and it was time for the marathon gift-wrapping experience ... the suitcase was missing. Turns out that Dad had taken it and donated it to the People Project (Gillette's version of a Goodwill store), where it had been deemed unsellable and thrown into an alley dumpster, where an unknown person or a garbage collector had claimed it ... we hope they had a merry Christmas with whatever they found inside.

-- There was the Thanksgiving weekend when, while driving back to school from spending the holiday in Gillette, I totalled my car when I hit a deer standing on the Insterstate while I was driving around 75 mph. I survived; the deer survived; my car was not so fortunate.

-- There was the Christmas when Matt and I both got sleds and decided to try them out on the hill behind Sage Valley (a school not far from our old house). There was a great launch "bump" at the bottom of the hill, and there was only one recommendation for hitting it: Keep your feet outside the sled so that when it flips, you can get out of it. But Matt's not one to listen to such recommendations, and the subsequent face-plant at the bottom of the hill left quite a bloody mess in the snow ...

-- And last Thanksgiving, Mom kicked of The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by dropping a frozen turkey on her big toe, shattering the toe. This year's safe handling instructions for the Thanksgiving turkey included the wearing of steel-toed boots, knee pads, shin guards and full football padding, helmet and face guard. I believe utility gloves were recommended as well.

In the spirit of the season, I encourage all my loved ones and friends to avoid the use of kerosene heaters, to leave your feet outside the sled, to insulate your home's pipes, to handle the frozen turkey (or goose or duck or ham) carefully, to not hide your Christmas presents in a suitcase in the garage, to avoid wildlife taking a dinner break in the middle of the road, and to make friends with your insurance representative(s). You never know when you're going to need them.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a hospital-less holiday.