What the L?

My keyboard, which I loved so much for its relative tininess and clickety-clackety sounds has wronged me.

Specifically, the L key. I have to practically punch the keyboard to get an L, which has led to concerns about right-hand third-finger injuries.

Granted, that finger serves very little purpose, aside from actually hitting the L key (and the O key. And the period. That's it. Never noticed that 'till now ...)

What would my life look like without Ls, Os and periods?

As a sampling, I'll show you what this post would look like:

****

My keybard, which I ved s much fr its reative tininess and cickety-cackety sunds has wrnged me

Specificay, the key I have t practicay punch the keybard t get an , which has ed t cncerns abut right-hand third-finger injuries

Granted, that finger serves very itte purpse, aside frm actuay hitting the key (and the key And perids That's it Never nticed that 'ti nw )

****

Sad.

Ls and Os and periods should be appreciated for the hard-fought components of Laramie news that they are. Their presence is the result of pain and frustration.

Letter of the Week

I just about pee my pants laughing every time I think about this. I may have even snorted once or twice ...

My favorite comment card this week accused us of having "bad gramor."

Oh, man ... I asked Deb to frame it and hang it up.

Another box of sugar, please

There was something oddly ironic as D, J and I sat in the conference room, picking D's story to heavily edited pieces and then (how do these turns in conversation happen?) discussed cholesterol and blood sugar levels ... all while J and I down box after box (mini boxes) of Nerds. We also laughed that a bunch of word nerds would be eating Nerds ... which might have made us bigger nerds for even thinking of it.

For the record, my blood sugar's fine. At least, it was before the Nerds.

'Tis the season for typos

So ... kids write letters to Santa. And most of them in Laramie wind up here at our office. And we get to type them up and put them in the paper.

The trick for us is to type "Santa" and not "Satan," which is trickier than you might think, several letters into it.

Dear Satan,

I want a barbie doll. I love you.

Little Susie may get an exorcism for Christmas instead.

This brings me to the subject of Christmas carols, and how I used get the words mixed up because I didn't know what they meant. I just tried to emulate as best I could what the children's choir director was saying, so I often wound up singing

Hark to Harold, angels sing

Good King Wesses Went to Town

Gloria in egg shell says day-o

Good tidings we bring to you and your kid

It didn't matter that the words, strung together, made no logical sense. Our parents weren't listening -- they were hoping we'd get through the pageant without picking our noses or flinging our dresses over our heads. And if they were reading lips, it all looked the same from the back of the church sanctuary, like "olive juice" looks like "I love you" to someone reading lips.

On that note, Merry Christmas to all.

Sarah-isms 101

Woot!: A bursting word of encouragment, usually shouted with hands cupped around the mouth to help it carry obnoxiously far over large crowds of people who may or may not be cheering along with you. Most entertaining when done by a parent who has never "woot"-ed anything before and suddenly bursts forth with it at a show in Branson.

Woo!: Not to be mistaken with "woot." It is an expression or response of joy, cheer, excitement. In written/text format, it must always be accompanied by an exclamation mark.

Cuddle whore: A person who enjoys cuddling, with or without an accompanying relationship. This term can encompass everything from innocent cuddling while watching a movie on a sofa to things that are a bit less innocent. (Get your mind out of the gutter, perv - not THAT much less innocent!)

Text whore: A person who is maintaining text conversations with more than one person at a time. The term, however, is most appropriately applied when each of the text recipients is a potential significant other, and neither/none know(s) about the other(s).

**NOTE** Aside from the two above instances, I can think of very few instances when it's even remotely appropriate to call someone a whore. Unless, of course, they are, in fact ... a whore.

Friend dumped: The position of finding that one of your social networking "friends" has decided that you are no longer worth associating with in the cyber world. Because no matter how old we are in real life or how mature we pretend to be, once we're on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc., we revert back to junior high school social tactics. You're not my BFF anymore.

Disgustipating: Something that is so disgusting to look at/think about, it hurts somewhere in the gut area, similar to a feeling of constipation.

Ginormous: Alright, I ripped this one off of "Elf," but I still love it and use it frequently. I should see whether the folks at Merriam-Webster are as in love with it as I am ... (update: they are!) Use this word when describing anything that is both gigantic AND enormous -- it's so big, it needs a combination of the two words.

Seriously: In the absence of anything else worthwhile to say, this fits many occasions. Adjust the tone of voice to fit the appropriate reaction. Can also be used as a precursor to most other phrases, such as: "Seriously, Sarah, don't let anyone tell you that you're missing out on something by not being married." Or: "Seriously! That jackass just totally cut me off!" Or: "Seriously. We're all adults. Let's act like it." Or just: "Seriously ... (!)(?)" It's possible that my overuse of this word was influenced by a brief infatuation with "Grey's Anatomy."

God bless the Brits

The British have such a way with words. I realize that I, too, speak English, but ...

British English has a tendency to be so much more biting, and yet so much more ... fun to say.

Gormless.

Knackered. (Thanks, Hol, for the spell check! I'm such an airhead!)

Daft.

Barmy.

Starkers.

Gormless, especially, is a new favorite word. I can't wait to wield it at someone who truly deserves it. Someone who truly deserves it and can hear me outside of my car, that is.

Another fun word

I'm adding "mukluk" to my list of fun words to say.

Mukluk!

(boots made of reindeer skin ... poor Rudolph)

Isn't it just fun to say?

We've also adopted the word "bastard" at work this week ... it's just been such an appropriate label for so many people we've come in contact with, and it's such an easy word ... it's like you're spitting it out ... Bastard! All, of course, after people have left the room, after we've hung up the phone, when we're done reading their e-mails ... Bastard!

But it's so much fun to say ...

My friend Joy's daughter (2 years old) likes to show off by saying "Barack Obama."

"Is Barack Obama going to be there?"

"I want to see Barack Obama."

And so on ...

(For the record, she's also taken a liking to calling people -- her parents included -- "retards.")

We couldn't figure this out. Her parents are rather conservative people, certainly not likely to suddenly swing to the extreme left, and we couldn't figure out where this little girl's fascination with Barack Obama came from.

So I tried just saying the name over and over.

"Barack Obama. Barack Obama. Barack Obama."

And the truth is -- it's just fun to say. It rolls off the tongue. It has a lyrical sound and feel to it. I can see why a child learning language would find it fun to say.

And so we started to identify other words that are fun to say.

Isuzu.

Abu Dabi.

San Antonio.

I sounded like a large child just beginning to learn language. But it was fun. I couldn't get through the list of Fun Words to Say without giggling ...

Barack Obama. San Antonio. Isuzu. Abu Dabi.

They're all just so much fun to say.

But I still like Sarah Palin.