Choose ice cream

In school, to teach a principle of physics and weight distribution, we were posed a variation of this question:

Would you rather have a 300-pound man in wide, flat-bottomed shoes standing on your hand, or a 120-pound woman in spiked heels?

The correct answer, our teacher tried to assure us, was the 300-pound man in the flat shoes, because the weight would be more evenly distributed over a greater area versus a very small area of weight distribution with the lighter woman in the kind of shoes worn by the hussies our principal tried to teach us to not be.

... Did I mention that this was during a junior high history lesson and not my senior-year physics class? That should give you a fair idea of how on-track my history teacher/Bible teacher/science monitor/principal/school dictator was with everything he did ...

And this demonstrates a fundamental flaw in the education system. The correct answer is: I don't want anyone in any kind of shoes standing on my hand! WTF is wrong with you people?

Which brings me to last night's non-class at the gym.

First, I've never been so grateful to not have a class in my life. It's possible I've done something far from great to one of my feet, and the pause in physical brutality was much appreciated. Learning one choke hold, getting it right and making Joe tap and then spending the rest of the hour listening to Joe, Bradley and Dude Whose Name I Don't Know talk about some upcoming fights and about the joys of having Boone's Farm strawberry wine with your breakfast while camping was a preferable way to spend an hour.

But that hour started with those three otherwise intelligent guys and Sholty (who is also relatively intelligent) talking about whether they'd rather be kicked really hard in the nuts or be shot.

Believe it or not, a lengthy discussion comparing the pain of both injuries followed.

I, the lone girl and the person who doesn't want any person of any weight in any kind of shoe standing on my hand, wanted to shout: "The right choice is neither! What the hell is wrong with you guys?!? You're all college-educated, and you're debating your choice of being shot or being kicked in the nuts?!?"

Seriously. Any game of "Would You Rather" should always be won by the person who's smart enough to say: "Neither. Let's go get some ice cream."