Eavesdrop a while ...

My conversations today:

EXHIBIT A

The Brother: Heard anything more from ______?
Me: No. Nothing this week.
The Brother: Laaaaaame.
Me: I know. Men are weird.
The Brother: Dude, chicks are just as weird. I'm telling you.
Me: Tell me one weird thing I've done.
The Brother: I'm going to have to think about this.
Me: Well, I'm glad to hear that.
The Brother: Wait - WAIT! You dated _________. That was dumb. He was dumb. You're weird.
Me: Granted. He WAS dumb. THAT was dumb. In my defense, I had hope. Maybe that's my weird thing. I hope too much for too long too often with too many people.
The Brother: Whatever. That was dumb. Don't do that again.

EXHIBIT B

My boss: Would you yell at me if I dog-legged this story around the barcode?
Me: No. Would YOU yell at ME?
My boss: I always yell at you. It's the privilege of my position. We excel at harping at each other.
(True)