In which I realize that I detest morning television

I don't do 8 a.m. voluntarily, and few things or people can lure me from the comforts of bed and blankie. My dermatologist is one of those people.

Side note: I love my dermatologist. He's funny, honest, concise, thorough and patient (with me). And he's really good with liquid nitrogen (it's not odd to say that about a dermatologist, for the record). If you're in need of one in the Laramie/Cheyenne area, let me know. I'd love to refer him.

So I dragged my under-rested arse into the cold air that greeted me when I relunctantly threw off my blissfully warm covers; I made very strong coffee and proceded to click through all six of the channels my bunny ears receive.

And in the midst of not settling first on Good Morning America, and then the Today Show, and then whatever they call the programs on CBS and the CW, it hit me: I hate morning TV shows. Any kind of multi-hosted show, in fact, be it on television or radio. Can't stand them.

The concept is fine: Fast-fact segments in which you learn to dress better, eat better, parent better, love better, drive better, learn better, etc.

Except ...

No one. EVER. Shuts. Up.

Ever.

So what you actually get is a bewildered guest who's trying to relay genuine information but who can't seem to get their point heard over the gabby women (and, Lord help us, men) who have so much personal insight to add to whatever said guest has not yet managed to spit out. (This morning, Alton Brown couldn't get through his crépe demonstration. I love Alton Brown. I love crépes. This should have been a no-brainer. Should have been ...)

Radio is even worse. You wind up with two people who are way too perky and obnoxious to be talking to ANYONE at such ungodly hours who are yelling over each other to be heard through your car stereo's failing speakers.

I see these situations as legitimate reasons to sleep through the morning and to miss out on the nonsense. It's kinder to my mental health and my mood and results in a kinder, gentler me for others to deal with.

Let me sleep in, folks. You're doing yourselves a favor.

Seriously.