Bon Apetit!

I can't think of a succint way to introduce this letter to a friend, except to say that I think she started gnawing on her phone when I told her I'd made blue cheese-stuffed meatloaf for dinner last night. Oh - and none of my e-mails have gotten through to her since, like, Easter. So this had to be sent via Facebook e-mail, which is actually much more irritating than I'd care to let you know.

Oh - and I got this recipe from a Southern Living cookbook. It's not my recipe. At all. I'm nowhere near this creative. I hope this doesn't count as a copyright infringement or anything. Also - my keyboard is sticking, so I'm having to double-check that words aren't missing important letters. Again - incredibly irritating.

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Dear (friend):
Since Yahoo mail is apparently conspiring to keep us from corresponding (jerks!), I've sent you the recipe via Facebook, in the hope that you check Facebook more than once every couple of months. I check it every couple of minutes, and as there isn't yet an addiction support group for my specific type of addiction, well ... here I am, sending you this Facebook e-mail.

Blue Cheese Meat Loaf Roll (as taken from The Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook, one of the few outrageously expensive kitchenish domestic splurges I've gotten that still gets impressed 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from people who think it's a sign of my culinary prowess ... suckers)

Prep: 25 minutes
Cook: 1 hour

The cookbook says: This meat loaf has a crusty brown top and blue cheese rolled inside. Serve it with a fruit salad or just sliced apples and pears.

The domestically challenged Sarah says: Just eat the danged meatloaf. It's good on its own, and you shouldn't feel guilty that you couldn't find pears because Wal-Mart was out of them, or that you forgot to slice the two varieties of apples that you bought to make up for the fact that Wal-Mart was out of pears and you had already been to every other grocery store in town and your feet were about to fall off, so you gave up shopping and went home to take a nap. Just eat the meatloaf, with or without the apples, the pears, the fruit salad, whatever.

Ingredients
8 slices white bread, torn into small pieces (I didn't want a loaf of white bread, so I bought a loaf of French bread and guestimated that half the loaf was about 8 pieces' worth)
¼ cup milk
4 ounces blue cheese, crumbled (note: blue cheese is only sold in 5-ounce packages, and you shouldn't feel guilty for using all 5 ounces. I tried it, and the Southern Living Compliance Patrol did not crash through my door and make me scrape the extra ounce of blue cheese out of the meatloaf)
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 pound ground round
½ pound ground pork (note: I couldn't find ground pork in half-pound increments, so I'm in need of inspiration for the other half-pound of pork taking up room in my fridge. Also - make sure you enunciate "ground" when you're asking the guy at the meat counter if the store even carries ground pork, because he'll otherwise think you're asking for "browned" pork or "round" pork and will, consequently, think you're crazy)
2 cups soft breadcrumbs, homemade (cheater's note: I'm lazy and used the canned variety. Again - no storming of my kitchen by the Southern Living powers that be)
½ cup chopped onion
2 teaspoons salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ cup ketchup
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce ('Worcestershire' is one of the words I CANNOT pronounce. I sound retarded. T-the-Democrat-from-Denver said I sounded drunk. Either way, I can't pronounce it)
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
Garnish with fresh parsley, if you remember that sort of thing before you starting cutting it up and serving it. Honestly, A didn't say 'Hey! Where's the garnish of fresh parsely?' So no one will notice if you don't garnish, is what I'm saying.

Method
Combine torn bread and milk in a bowl; stir in blue cheese and 1 egg
Combine ground round and next 9 ingredients in a separate bowl; shape into a 15- by 12-inch rectangle on heavy-duty plastic wrap (Sarah's note: I didn't measure my beefy-porky rectangle - I just plopped it onto my semi-flimsy and very definitely NOT heavy-duty plastic wrap and had at it - it still worked). Spoon the blue cheese mixture on top, spreading to within 1 inch (or whatever) of edges. Starting at short side (the side nearest to you that's about to slide off the edge of your table or counter) and using the plastic wrap to lift, roll up, jellyroll fashion. Press edges and ends to seal. Place meat loaf roll, seam side down, on a lightly greased rack; place rack in a foil-lined broiler pan (or just place the meatloaf on the only cookie sheet you have and call it good - seam side down, of course. I don't have a rack to lightly grease; I don't think I know what a broiler pan looks like). Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour or until meat thermometer registers 160 degrees. Garnish, if desired (or see previous note regarding voluntary garnish)

The cookbook says it yields 6 servings, but for the chunk of meatloaf I pulled out of the oven, those would have to be 6 starving people. I'd say closer to 8. Or maybe I used more than a half-pound of ground, round, browned pork.

Per serving
Calories: 434
Fat: 15.9 grams
Cholesterol: 189 milligrams
Sodium: 1557 milligrams