Chubby
I have found it.
I have found the one instance in life when a doctor will pat you on the back, say "congratulations" and smile at you for being chubby -- it's when your corneas are chubby and you've just asked said doctor about eye surgery.
The reason for the hip-hip-hooray over the chubbiness makes me nervous: The reason your corneas have to be thick isbecause they shave your cornea. Yup. Shave. Brings to mind other things, eh? At least the initial part (from what I read before the dilating drops kicked in and I couldn't focus on anything) is now done with a laser, instead of a HANDHELD steel knife.
It's okay. I almost screamed in the waiting room when I read that last part, too.
My younger brother has had this done and sent the pre-surgery informational DVD to my mother, who shrieked when she saw it. "It's awful," she said. I have a DVD of my own to watch, and I'm trying to find a brave moment to do so. I just got the good, chubby news this morning, so I think I've got plenty of time.
Matt says that when they do the shaving, you're completely blind in that eye for ten seconds or so. "It was the scariest ten seconds of my life, Sarah." He couldn't see, and he was pretty sure, for at lest seven seconds, that it was going to be permanent. I don't know if I can handle seven seconds of thinking I've been permanently blinded. I can't handle thinking I've nicked myself shaving my legs ... I'm a weenie.
I have to have my corneas measured at least two more times before he'll let me have the surgery, which has to be done in Denver. Keep your fingers crossed that my eyes don't go on a diet with the rest of me.
I wonder if I can blame any of my extra weight on my chunky eyes. I blame my long hair for at least a couple pounds, the weight of the fabric I'm wearing when I weight (at least another pound, of course) ... and I wonder, if I ever go back to Weight Watchers in the near future, whether I could look the meetings leader in the eye and say, "I carry a lot of weight in my eyes -- no, really -- my eye doctor told me that I have very chubby corneas."
Yeah. I didn't think so, either.
3 comments:
I've had the LASIK surgery in 2004and I HIGHLY recommend it! The doc gives you 1mg of Versed and you are so happy all you can do is follow voice commands. I just took the eye test for the WY driver's license and passed with perfect vision...thanks to my chubby corneas! GO FOR IT~
Thanks! Matt said the same thing -- said the lack of hassle is totally worth it. The totally corny thing is: I've finally, after 20-plus years of wearing glasses, found glasses that I like. As inconvenient as glasses are, I finally like mine. Conundrum? yes. Likely to keep me from ditching all eye paraphernalia in the near future? Probably not. We'll see.
Maybe you could just get non-prescription lenses in those favorite glasses.....
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