24 January 2008

Letters that will never be sent, Part I

Dear Weight Watchers:

I already came back. To my knowledge, you are draining $40 a month from my checking account to "welcome" me back. I got my "jump-start" kit, and I am on my way to living rather than dieting.

Since my account statements assure me that you're getting my money, and you have my address and other contact information ... why do you keep sending me offers to come back, trying to entice me to do that which I've already done?

Really. After all we've been through in recent weeks -- ups and downs, highs and lows -- I feel more than a little insulted that you've noticed me so little, that you think you still need to invite me back. Where's the love?

You're like a player boyfriend -- the kind who has so many girls to see and keep track of, he can't remember who he's seen when and what they're doing, so he pulls the same ol' "hey, baby -- I miss you" routine with each girl ... even if he just saw her the night before.

Player. That's you. Each of those 5x7 cards begging me to come back is a "hey baby" phone call ... and each reassures me that you only love me for my money; that you don't care that I'm there, every week, hanging on every word you have to say; that you don't care that I get up at 6 a.m. every Friday to come see you, no matter how little sleep I've had. I feel so used. Lighter, but used.

I won't say it's over ... I'm addicted. You're so clever and insightful, and even though I know I'm just one of the many women (and, let's face it -- men) in your life, I just can't give you up. Besides, you always have coffee ready for me when I come to see you. You've got good news for me each week, and I get presents sometimes, too. I still feel special. I have a weakness for hearing that I've lost weight, that I'm looking good, etc. You're good with the compliments. I still feel used and overlooked, though.

-- Jilted (but skinnier)

2 comments:

Chris said...

I've never considered myself a player, but I can never remember who I went to which movie with. I'll be like, "do you remember when we went to such and such" and then be made to feel stupid. HA HA

Anonymous said...

I found your blog when I was searching weightloss treatment. I think you are very interesting and light hearted. It is unfortunate for weight watchers that you have been overlooked, you have potential for being a great speaker. I have a daughter in Laramie, she is eighty or so pounds over weight. I think she would find you very inspirational.