The Modern Girl's Guide To Breaking Up, Moping and Moving On -- Days 4, 5 and so on ...

Day 4

Wake up grateful that you didn’t do something stupid over the weekend, like getting sick-drunk at home, going to a bar, or calling up any of your previous fellas. Reassure your dental hygeinist that she's not mean or rude for asking you how your weekend was ... Go to work and avoid your coworkers and their questions about your weekend.

Days 5-(undetermined)

Avoid the bathroom scale. Find the one pair of pants that still fits semi-comfortably (courtesy of the pity-party chocolate and wine). Have lunch with a former professor; begin explaining to friends that you are not, after all, moving to Omaha. Begin applying for jobs Elsewhere. Try to not sleep all day when you're not working. Pretend to have a social life. Go to the doctor for a checkup and start bawling in your nurse practicioner's office. Give in to wine cravings the next weekend. Determine to channel your frustration into exercise. Eat chocolate instead. ...