The Modern Girl's Guide to Breaking Up, Moping and Moving On -- Day 2

It's been a little over a week ... I present a work in progress:

Day 2

After an awkward-as-ass night in your now-ex-boyfriend's basement (sleeping off and on and finally giving up), shower (quickly). Haul your luggage up out of the abyss and out to your car. Have a very sad and very awkward goodbye hug and hit the road.

Cry nonstop for the first 30 miles, attempting to see through your tear-smudged glasses. Stop a couple hours later to finally eat something and find a place that claims to sell something like espresso.

Battle holiday weekend traffic for each of the 550 miles between your ex's house and home. While driving and tuning in to an easy-listening station, feel such an overwhelming sense of depression that you almost call in to the Delilah show.

Fifty miles from home, when you're so tired and tired of driving that you can't really tell which lane you're in, stop in Cheyenne and go shopping. Mope around the mall, Barnes & Nobel and Target while crying on your friend's shoulder via cell phone and ignoring the appliance sales guys who are evesdropping on your conversation, even though you've now moved to the women's clothing department. Don't buy anything except some gift bags at Target. Ignore the checkout guy's snarky, smart-ass comment about you being a "big holiday spender." Give him a $10 bill for your $1.06 purchase. Punk.

Finally arrive home, haul your stuff upstairs. Cry again.

Seriously consider buying out the liquor store down the street, ordering Chinese and finishing off the two containers of ice cream in your freezer. Decide against that plan, opting instead for the $5 Little Caesar's special and some cheap chocolate from KMart. Watch a bunch of children's Christmas movies, falling asleep on your living room floor halfway through "The Polar Express."

Go to bed at 3 a.m.